a happy accident/my kid thinks i’m an idiot

so. the soccer thing again. and the fact that this week i almost had it together. i was so close.

and then kid #2 peed her pants. on the way out the door.

so things were not exactly ‘together’ anymore. but together enough that we still managed to get to the field exactly 5 minutes before the start of kid #1’s game.

so there i am tying cleats as fast as is humanly possible. and side note, why does my kid not UNTIE his laces when he takes his tripple-knotted cleats off?

anyhow, remember ‘super-mom’? well super-mom has a husband who i’ve always given credit to for being a nice, fairly normal individual. no more! this day’s reality showed me that he is actually a passive-aggressive super-dad who happened to be standing within the vicinity of my frantic cleat tying.

“i can’t believe these parents who show up with their kid 5 minutes before the game starts”, he proclaimed to another parent.

and i can’t believe my 2 year-old peed her pants 1 minute before we left the house. because life is like that.

and so are happy accidents.

so this particular game day in which we were not late for, kid #1’s team was playing against super-kid’s team.

now for the record i have nothing against super-kid except for the fact that his super-parents think he should have his own super-team to play on. and granted, super-kid’s an awesome player, while kid #1 occasionally looks like he’s forgotten he’s actually playing soccer and instead looks suspiciously as though he might be designing video games in his head. or planning some sort of sniper attack. whatever.

but then kid #1 is put in goal. and as he’s staring up at the sky a small miracle happens. kid #1 looks down just as super-kid attempts to score and blocks the goal!

it was literally one of the proudest moments of my life. and (most of) the parents of kids on both teams were cheering because everyone loves an underdog.

and in that moment kid #1 could not have been awesomer!

and then this.

kid #1 thinks i am an idiot.

one day a week kid #1 walks with some friends and an older responsible sibling to an after school drop-in program.

except on this particular day i received a phone call from the mother of kid #1’s best friend, informing me that kid #1 had just shown up at her house proclaiming that the other kids had left him behind.

this seemed fishy.

me: “why did they leave you behind?”

kid #1: “the sibling had a scooter and we can both agree that scooters are faster than feet so you can’t blame me for not being able to keep up. and also you should actually be proud of me because when they were gone and i was all alone i knew i had 2 choices. i could have walked by myself down a busy dangerous street, or i could have gone a shorter distance to my friend’s house, which you know is safe. so i did the right thing. and you should be mad at them. not me.”

me: “then how did the other, non-scootering kids manage to get there?”

kid #1: “they have faster feet.”

me: “unlike you?”

silence.

on speaking to the mom of the sibling: “she doesn’t even own a scooter”.

kid #1 thought he could get away with this lying business because apparently i am an idiot of a mother.

no deal.

i gave birth to you. i know what you’re up to. i have eyes in the back of my head. and i am smarter than i look even though i am smeared with banana and currently wearing mismatched socks.

i may be messy but i’m a pretty kick-ass mom. and despite your ridiculous antics, you’re still a pretty kick-ass kid.

but it’s soooo good to know i’m still smarter than you.

and next time, try to be a bit more creative when you’re attempting to get away with things. it makes it more fun for me.

moving along.

4 things i love today.

1. loulou & oscar cat dolls, made by scottish librarian and self-taught designer lisa aaron

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2. minini brooches and spoons, made by south korean porcelain artist min lee

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3. British kids line tootsa macginty

ImageImageImage4. mijke hoogervorst’s little rose kids line from the netherlands (she had me at her little red riding hood and deer prints)

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this mother needs a shower. and a nap.

out.

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2 thoughts on “a happy accident/my kid thinks i’m an idiot

  1. On Soccer – The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. It if doesn’t move, kick it until it does….I think kid #1 has the right idea….he makes me Proud!!

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