epic cake fail etc.

ok. let’s see how much I can write before my green cake comes out of the oven.

what, you say? a green cake? yup. a green cake. a bright green cake. the second in 2 days.

but let’s back this train up.

me. last night. standing at the kitchen sink and saying to my husband in the most defeated voice possible “why are things so hard?”

like remembering that I was supposed to do that whole ‘fall back’ time change on the weekend.

saturday, 11pm text message from my dad: “don’t forget to change your clocks before you go to bed”

ok. because I totally absolutely did not know that I was supposed to do that.

I cannot get it together. over and over and over again.

sad face.

moving on.

the cake.

remember lyndsay sung’s beautiful coco land cakes? here, let me refresh your memory.

as you may recall from my last post, kid #1 and i decided to attempt this cake. the tutorial made it look easy peasy. as in, even i could swing this thing.

so we did, although kid #1 preferred a green interior (hence the cake currently in the oven), and red frosting. because apparently we’ve moved on to Christmas.

this is the cake that came out of the oven yesterday. the right side of it collapsed inwards. i had the magical idea to try to fill in the side with icing. did not work.

also my photo looks weird. i took it with my phone and uploaded it to my computer and it is somehow the wrong size and looks odd. i’m sure this can be fixed. currently do not feel like buggering around to make this better. i live with someone who can do this for me. besides, i’m busy making cake.

moving along.

the next step was to slice the top off a bit to make it flat. this involved lots of crumbs which seemed wrong but i was following the directions so this was not my fault.  although this could possibly have been attributed to the fact that the instructions said i could use a boxed cake mix, which i did, and i chose extra moist. it was on sale. 3 for $5. lot’s of room for error.

time to frost!

here’s kid #1 mixing up some accidentally holiday themed frosting.

weird blurry small picture again. let’s ignore the fact that kid #1 looks glow-in-the-dark.

and now we are spreading frosting.

oops! the cake caved in. kid #1 was reasonably concerned. i assured him that we could just cut around the cake and shape it into a smaller circle. at which point kid #2 was all like “yay cake!”

kid #3 enjoyed some too.

try to ignore that my daughters look somewhat radioactive.

kid #3 is adorable even when she is covered in fail cake.

fur making time!

over the weekend i purchased the appropriate ‘Witon grass tip’ for the purpose of decorating this cake. however, i did not take into consideration that this tip would not be compatible with my ikea purchased ‘drommar’ pastry bag.

we persevered.

here is kid #1 trying to hold the tip in the bag while also frosting. props.

we skipped the fondant part. obviously.

fail cake anyone?

life is difficult.

now while green cake the second is cooling, let’s talk about an awesomely crafty person who is not me.

during a former post i may have mentioned that i do not knit. i actually didn’t give myself a chance to fail at knitting. instead i bought a pattern for a scarf and then spent an exorbitant amount of money on red wool to complete my project. i managed to make it through about an eighth of the scarf before i decided it was taking too long and was actually quite boring to do. i figured i could buy an exorbitantly priced scarf at a store for less work instead. i actually did. it was leopard print and awesome.

my husband does not care for my ‘projects’. they are ineffective, abandoned, or a complete fail. like watercolour painting, or collaging, or scrapbook making.

my mother says i’m a “tryer”. she once “tried” to make a carpet. i don’t fall far from the tree.

enough said.

but now let’s meet super crafty british knitter fiona goble. she’s somewhat of a celebrity in the knitting world and holy moly she is amazing!

in another more crafty life i would knit the entire royal wedding. like all of it.

oh my god! look how cute!

what does this even mean? and also, holy painstaking!

for extra impressive fabulousness how about some knitted zombies?

for real. who comes up with this craziness?

i am tempted to purchase this book. just to have. my husband would cancel the sale and claim our credit card was stolen by a crazy person. fair enough.

and storybooks!

fiona goble is one kick-ass, creative knitter!

and i am not.

until next time in which readers will be privy to the results of mutant bunny cake 2.

cheers!